You are amazingly tasty….but you are also an amazingly big pain.
I think you are some sort of sick joke created purely to torment us. Your bitter-sweet taste is the prefect accent to many meals and a perfect snack. I find myself often craving the slight crunch and sour elements you can contribute to a cup of yogurt. But why the hell is it so difficult to get to your edible bits!?! You greedily guard your insides with layers of membrane that involve tedious and complex procedures to remove. Getting a single spoonful of your tiny-tasty little morsels involves more effort than almost any other foods (except for a few freaking squashes) and becomes a timely process that often leaves me fed up with the whole situation.
But you are more than just a pain to eat, you are an arrogant ass. You are never cheap. You rarely show any mercy by going on sale and instead you take pride in being one of the most pricey produce available in the store. You seem to enjoy being pompous and take pleasure in preventing the masses from experiencing your company on their kitchen table. Oh, and you prefer the term ‘arils’ and insist on confusing shoppers by occasionally labeling your packaging with it. Who came up with that ‘official’ name for those little ‘morsels’?!? I really don’t think that a fruit that requires such a complex procedure to consume needs to be complicated even further by giving uncommon terms to its edible elements. Can’t you just be like every other fruit and make use of the common terms: ‘skin,’ ‘flesh’ and perhaps ‘core’? You don’t need to try to expand my vocabulary with specialized words.
Yet worse than the difficulty involved in extracting your tasty innards and your high price, is how you constantly squirt your deep red juice onto EVERYTHING. And while your juice may not burn the eyes like the juice from a lemon, it does leave stains on par with blood. It is almost as if this damn fruit is booby-trapped…one wrong move and your dress shirt is spattered in a deep red hue making you feel like something out of the “Scarlet Letter” when you messily show up at work in the stained shirt. Pomegranate… you truly are sinister and should be a shame of yourself. Only seeded grapes can cause your levels of chaos.
Oh. and WTF are you anyway!?! A berry? An apple as the term ‘pome’ suggests? Are you some sort of melon with your inedible outer skin? And do I have to wash you before I eat you? Do you get stored in the fridge? You really are one of the most frustrating fruit.
Well Pomegranate, regardless of your many flaws, I will still eagerly purchase you once more…but be warned. I am already on bad terms with you.