Food is a beautiful thing.
BUT, it can also pose some serious pitfalls to the unprepared or ignorant. I am well versed in many of the side effects of certain edible delicacies, yet often times I decide to just accept the consequences involved in order to make that perfect meal.
Picture this: a flat bread topped with caramelized onions, roasted beets, charred asparagus, goat cheese and arugula. A truly wonderful food combo that made me feel like I was embracing the spring season…but after I ate the damn thing I quickly saw the damage that had been done;
*The caramelized onions had infused their cooked-onion-smell into the walls of my entire house. For days my home smelt like a freaking fajita skillet (not necessarily a bad thing, but after a few days I was tired of feeling like I lived in a Mexican restaurant).
*The charred asparagus successfully transformed my urine into a pungent chemical weapon that scared me. I could not believe the odor and avoided drinking so that I could postpone the next time I would have to get up to take a leak and face the embarrassingly pungent stench that I emitted.
*The arugula became ensnared in between my teeth, and no amount of flossing seemed to work.
*Cheese, for all of its wondrous qualities, can still be mighty stinky…This strong goat cheese was no exception and managed to taint my breath with a barnyard funk for several days. A single burp that seeped out from me was capable of overpowering all the hard work the house keepers had done the previous day to sanitize the smells in my home. No breath mint or mouth wash was going to defeat this death breath I was forced deal with due to my passion for tasty food.
Who would have ever thought one meal could ‘reek’ such havoc!?! This dinner left my house stinking of onions, my pee red and pungent, my teeth filled with green crap, and my breath foul! Why do some of the tastiest damn foods have to have some of the most damaging side effects!?!